When looking at a relationship the most important aspect is how effective the communication is being utilized. There are many reasons why having exceptional communication in a relationship is important, like affective communication leads to strong relational bonds.  We create a bond with someone through ways of telling them our deepest secrets or allowing them to know the real you. We also can look at how the communication molds the relationship, how managing tension, the goals of impression management, or how boundary management is set.  All these concepts are achieved through communication and improve the relationship that is beginning. 

            If we look at the very first case study, “Moving Up”, we see why it is important to maintain certain relationships.  Jim is an on-the-rise lawyer, working for a very successful law firm and learning his ways in the firm.  Right now he is only an intern, but hopes to impress the boss, Marc, enough that he continues his career at this law firm.  Every intern must go through a meeting with the bosses so they can advice the intern how well he or she is doing, the intern’s potential at the law firm, and what the intern can improve to become the ideal lawyer.  Jim thought he had made a great impact on the business by always being early, making friends with coworkers, and making sure the clients were taken care of.  However, Marc had a different impression of how Jim was doing in the business.  He stated that Jim is creating wrong relationships with co-workers that will no make him successful in the future.  If Jim does not create the right relationships he could become an outcast at the law firm.  The way that Jim can fix this is build relationships with his fellow lawyers and not the secretaries.  Relationships can help us become more successful because people care for the people close to them and a favor is returned when given.  Jim also had to work on his impression management, like Matt and Jennifer in the case study “Embarrassment.”

            In this case study Matt and Jennifer are newly weds that are discovering what marriage truly entitles.  Jennifer is a very closed person and wants people to see her relationship only in the good times, while Matt is the exact opposite.  What you want someone to see you as is called impression management.  This creates a major conflict in Matt and Jennifer’s relationship because they are not agreeing on their relational boundary.  This is a boundary that is set by the couple to what is exposed to the outside world and what are their limits of what stays between the two.  Matt breaks this boundary by telling his family the problems Jennifer and him are having in front of Jennifer.  This completely breaks Jennifer’s trust in Matt because she believed that what happened between them stayed between them.  From this case study we learn how important it is to communicate the expectations of your partner to have a happy and successful relationship.  Another case study, "Serious Challenges in Interpersonal Relationships: Betrayal in the Case of Chris and Sandy," hold the same problem of the lack of expectations creates devastation.

            Chris and Sandy were high school sweethearts that tried to continue their secret love affair into college.  Sandy began to find interest with other guys and one guy in particular.  While Chris had his mind set on Sandy and did not want her to see other guys.  This caused the co-orientation, when two people in the relationship have a common focus, concern, or interest, between Chris and Sandy to change.  Chris found that Sandy was not coming around as often and when she did it was for a short amounts of time.  Even though Sandy and Chris had never established themselves in a relationship, Chris thought they were.  Chris had the expectation that they were only true to one another and paid no attention to anyone else.  While Sandy had the expectation that she could see other guys and possibly start a serious relationship with someone besides Chris.  Unfortunately, after Chris found out about Sandy going behind his back the relationship ended.  We can learn from this by realizing how important communication.  If Chris had told Sandy that he expected her to only see him, or if Sandy had communicated to Chris that she wanted to date other men than just him; the friendship between the two might have been saved.  Communication is just as important in a long distance relationship than it is in a non-distance relationship.

            Looking at the case study “Distance Makes the Heart Grow Anxious: Managing Long-Distance and Commuter Relationships,” we see the struggle between Lindsay and Ron’s long distance relationship.  Lindsay and Ron have been in a relationship for some time, but have now gone off to different colleges.  Despite the hundreds of miles between each other they decide to stay together and make it work.  They communicate through texting, calling each other, social media, and video calls.  The biggest problem of the relationship comes when Lindsay discovers a girl posting on Ron’s Facebook.  Instead of Lindsay talking to Ron about who this girl was, she assumes the worst that Ron is interested in her.  This causes a lot of awkwardness between Ron and Lindsay because Lindsay doubts her trust for him.  When Lindsay goes out to visit Ron she meets the girl and finds out that she also has a girlfriend and is interested in strictly women.  This shows us how important communicating to one another is to solve a problem, instead of keeping it quiet and allowing it to turn into something bigger. 

            I have learned so much from these case studies, especially the importance to communicate your feelings.  I am currently in a long distance relationship and we have grown immensely from what I have learned.  I am someone who tends to hold things in and it hurt our relationship because when I did talk I had a lot to say.  After analyzing these case studies, I have found the best way to prevent a conflict is to talk about the small things before they become big things.  I have also learned the importance of letting someone in so you can create a personal bond with him or her.  This class made my eyes open to the importance of communicating. 

   
     A long distance relationship can be the hardest experience you have ever gone through but also can be one of the greatest experiences you have ever gone through.  I have been in a long distance relationship for around three years now with my boyfriend I met in high school.  Neither of us have been perfect in our relationship and our relationship has suffered from this at times, however I would never trade anything in the world for him.  I can personally relate to all the emotions and struggles that Ron and Lindsay go through in the case study Distance Makes the Heart Grow Anxious: Managing Long-Distance and Commuter Relationships.  

    We meet Lindsay first and find out that she has just started her first year of college at the same university her brother attends.  Lance, Lindsay's older brother, visits her in her dorm and starts questioning if she is really serious about her relationship and how she expects to have fun in college with a boyfriend hundreds of miles away.  Lindsay assures her older brother that her relationship with Ron is worth the distance, and she can still go out with friends having fun while staying faithful.  Lindsay soon finds out it isn't as easy as it seems especially when you attend a party and everyone is paired up, but you.  She feels like she does not fit in with anyone; she can't go on double dates with her taken friends or go man searching with her single friends.  Lindsay begins to look at Ron's Facebook and sees that there is a girl continually showing up on his page.  Now the emotion of jealousy fills Lindsay head and with this emotion comes hurt and anger.  The next week she goes and visits Ron finding out things are completely different from what she was assuming.  Ron shows her around the campus and meets all of friends, including Pat, the girl posting on Ron's Facebook.  It ends up that Pat and Ron are so close because they both know what being a relationship with a girl is like, Pat is a lesbian.  Lindsay learns how hard it is to manage the emotions that come with a long distance relationship and how to remain connected with one another.  

    The presence theory is the biggest factor in Ron and Lindsay's relationship.  This theory is the explanation of how present you feel to someone without actually being with them.  There are three aspects that relate to cyberspace physical, social, and self presence.  First, the aspect of physical presence and that can be achieved by playing a computer game or xbox game.  It is some type of action that makes the two feel like they are together in a cyberspace.  Lindsay and Ron do this by playing Call of Duty every Wednesday evening with each other.  The second aspect is called social presence and this is achieved by texting each other through out the day.  It is the sense that you feel like you are with someone in a social setting.  Ron and Lindsay relate to this by texting and calling each other every day to tell each other what is going on in their lives.  Lastly, the third aspect is self presence and that can be identified as your "second life."  It is how you want people to interrupt you if they see your social media.  This is where there is tension in Lindsay and Ron's relationship because of what is happening on his Facebook page.  

    This girl, Pat, continues to appear on his Facebook page leaving comments or appearing in photos. This causes tension in to the relationship because many "what ifs" begin to disturb Lindsay.  She brings negative attention to the situation and assumes the worst, this is also an example of cognitive hijacking.  This is where something in our brain that we think gets affected by social media or media in general.  I also see the ads on Facebook that explain to you how to tell if your boyfriend is cheating on you.  The top sign is if a girl begins to take over his social media, and in this case that is what happened with Ron's page.  So when Lindsay first sees this of course she is thinking there is something going on and she is being betrayed.  Little did she know that Ron and Pat are strictly friends because Ron is not Pat's type at all.  Another interesting aspect of this case study is the relationship between Lindsay and Lance.

    Lance sees to be a firm believe in having fun in college entitles having lots of girlfriends and different experience.  While Lindsay is fine with having a serious relationship at a young age and sticking with that one man forever.  When Lance questions why Lindsay is trying to make a long distance relationship work in college and Lindsay explains that Ron is everything she has ever wanted.  Lance responds, " And this is from a women with a cast repertoire of, what, two other dating experiencers?"  Lance is threatening the face of Lindsay by threatening if she really knows what she is talking about.  The siblings do not see eye to eye on this concept because they both have different beliefs on what it means to go out and enjoy yourself.  We can also examine what type of family relationship pattern the two demonstrate.  Lance and Lindsay fall under the category of pluralistic patterns and we see this in how they tell each other everything.  It is shown that family has a very close connection and a perfect example of this is when Lance talks about his new girlfriend Jessica.  He explains all of her good qualifies and then states that Lindsay and their mom will love her.  He wants his family to know her and accept her into their life.  We can also look at how independent Lindsay and Lance are.  Specially Lindsay takes trips across the country to see her boyfriend and continues to do so to make her relationship work.  There is also different opinions in the family, specially between Lance and Lindsay and what college is about, but that does not stand in the way of their close connection.  

    From my personal experience, a long distance relationship either makes the couple ten times stronger or tears the relationship apart.  As Lindsay learns it is all about communicating and having trust in your significant other.  When there becomes a trust issue in the relationship things will start to break down and that is when communication is key.  It is a lot harder to bring a sensitive issue up in this type of relationship because you only have two options.  You can do it over the phone which can lead to someone being able to ignore the question by hanging up or other excuses.  Or you can wait till you see them again which causes you to think about it for a long time and possibility ruining the short amount of time you do have together.  Both people have to agree to have an honest relationship with each other and always have the best interest for the relationship.  

 

     When you are in a relationship you are putting an immense amount of trust into one person.  You trust he or she won't tell anyone your deepest secrets, you trust he or she will always hold you, and you trust that he or she will always stay loyal to you.  We learn from the case study of "Serious Challenges in Interpersonal Relationships: Betrayal in the Case of Chris and Sandy," what can happen once this trust is broken.

      Sarah and Chris have known each other since grade school and became best friends instantly.  When high school came around their relationship was seen as one to admire.  Everyone wished they had a relationship like Sarah and Chris's.  The two had each others back, they were always laughing together, and they knew everything about each other.  When college came Sarah and Chris started to become more intimate together.  Chris always made sure that Sarah was okay and they both were there for each other in a heart beat.  Then everything changed when Chris got a feeling that Sarah wasn't being as loyal as she said she was.  There was a rumor going around that Sarah was seeing another guy from a different school.  Chris and Sarah did a good job of keeping their intimate relationship a secret,  and this caused problems when people told Chris the stories.  Someone who didn't know Sarah and Chris were lovers, would come up to Chris and tell him that he saw Sarah with another guy at the local hook up place. After Chris heard this he went around asking people what they had heard about Sarah and many confirmed she had been seeing another guy.  Chris was crushed and so angry that Sarah had the guts to betray him like that, especially after everything they had been through together.  Chris brought up the rumors to Sarah and she confirmed them.  After Chris found out the truth their relationship took a terrible turn.  Chris talked about Sarah like she meant nothing to him and she had never helped him out.  Sarah did not say too many negative things about Chris.  Chris was speaking out of anger, while Sarah was speaking out of guilt.  Their relationship never recovered and they began to act like strangers that had never met.  

      There are many different aspects of this case we can analysis, like their coordination.  Sandy does an act and Chris interprets what she did. Then Chris acts and Sandy interprets what he said or did, then she acts.  This cycle keeps going on.  When coordination is good the process feels organized and understandable.  In high school, Sandy and Chris were close and everything was organized between each other.  When Sandy begins this relationship with another guy, the way she acted with Chris was different. Then Chris interpreted it as something was wrong. Co-orientation is when two people in the relationship have a common focus, concern, or interest.  Sandy and Chris's co-orientation changes because Sandy has another relationship that is more important to her, and this causes the coordination to suffer and the relationship fall apart between the two high school lovers.  

      Next we can look at what type of state Sarah and Chris were in when their relationship changed.  When Chris found out about Sarah and this new guy he was hurt, angry, and jealous.  He expressed his anger through venting by talking to his friend and through attack by making rude remarks about Sarah to other people.  When someone is jealous it is a mix of anger, hurt, and grieving because he or she just lost something that was once important. Chris expresses this by giving Sarah the silent treatment and retaliating against her by spreading rumors.  Lastly Chris is hurt and he expresses this through being acquiesce with the situation or giving up on trying to save any type of relationship.   Sarah on the other hand is acting out of guilt.  She feels terrible that she hurt Chris but her new guy meant a lot to her.  She expressed her guilt through a little bit of justification but mainly avoidance.  To her friend that we hear the story from, Sarah does justify why she did what she did and how she felt about it.  Sarah does not want to talk to Chris about it and she avoids talking to him as long as possible.  After she told Chris the truth she also avoids the aftermath by telling people Chris is a great person and not giving anyone the juicy details they want.  

       I can see where Chris is coming from when he acts out of jealousy and anger.  I have been in a situation in some ways like this, and I acted completely stupid.  Your emotions get the best of you and sometimes it is hard to stop and think, "Is this really worth it?"  Relationships are hard to lose especially when you care about the other person.  Unfortunately Chris and Sarah cannot mend their relationship back together, but that is understandable.  However, I do believe that in some situations the relationship can be repaired because at one point that person meant the world to you.